Am I going to seminary?

I was a horrible student when I was younger.  I rarely went to class and when I did, all I wanted to do was talk to the people around me and make them laugh.  I loved study groups for the same reason.  I remember on several occasions I would drop my friend off at school, turn the car around, and drive home to go to bed.  My friend would always ask me where I went and I would tell her that I tripped in the parking lot. I said this with one eye crossed to communicate that I was an idiot which made her laugh.  This tactic worked on several occassions.  Feel free to use it.

Even though I was a terrible student, I dreamed of going to Dallas Theological Seminary.  I went to several classes with friends who were enrolled and loved it.  This dream started to wain as I got older.  As I started struggling spiritually, my loving Savior got pushed under the rug along with my desire to go to seminary.

Having said all that, I have applied to the Christian Studies program at Union University!   Not sure they'll except me because, A) my GPA is crap and B) I cuss when I hit my toe on something.  

I am so thankful that God is compassionate.  I started writing this blog a year ago and can read back on His faithfulness in my life.  Outside of my crap GPA, going to seminary right now seems tenuous simply from a financial standpoint.  Evan and I are in the midst of some life changes.  My husband and I own a company called Just Like Dad's that his father started.  It's a children's gift and apparel company.  Last February, doors were opening for us to start it up again.  Unfortunately, we have struggled to get our company up and running.  We trust the Lord and hope that one day Just Like Dad's has it's turn in the marketplace.  Because of all of this, Evan and I are pursuing other means of employment.

Times like this are hard for me to trust the Lord.  Will He provide?  I'm reminded that He cares for stinky birds so He will care for us.  My husband is so talented that any company would be blessed to have him.  I trust that he will find something and it will be something he enjoys; that is my hope for him.

  

With all this uncertainty, the thought of applying to seminary seemed a bit nuts but I did it anyway.  I was encouraged to apply and so I did.  Will they accept me?  Will they take a post-dated check for 2020?  These are questions I don't have the answers to but I will trust the Lord.  

I have been reading Reflections for Ragamuffins by Brennan Manning.  I want to share a section I read this morning.  This devotional starts with a story of a man walking with his uncle along Lake Killarney in Ireland.  His uncle was celebrating his 80th birthday and as they walked along the lakeside the nephew turned to his uncle and said,

"Uncle Seamus, you look very happy." "I am." Ed asked, "How come?" And his uncle replied, "The Father of Jesus is very fond of me."

Manning goes on to share that if we truly believed that the Father is fond of us, there would be a serenity, a relaxedness, and a compassionate attitude towards ourselves that is a reflection of the Father's own tenderness. 

Life can be very unsettling but we have a Father who is fond of us.  I feel uncertain about a lot of things right now but I am certain that God is alive and active in my families life.  This blog is a story of His unfailing love and that increases my faith.  Whatever you may be fearful of, I pray that you would put your weight on the grace that is lavished upon you.  The fact that I am even applying to seminary is evidence of His hand in my life.  If nothing comes of it, that's fine. I am just thankful to be close to my Savior again.  By His grace, I will never push Him under the rug again.

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassion never fails. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."

Lamentations 3:22-23