Merry Christmas! Try not to rob anyone!

Christmas time is here!  Last year my son sat on a blanket, drooling, while he watched me prance around the house decorating.  This year he joyfully toddles behind me ready to hang/gnaw on the unbreakable ornaments I've placed in his charge.  The look on his face when he saw the tree lit up for the first time was priceless.  Christmas is so much more fun with him.

As delightful as the holidays are, obstacles occasionally arise that challenge my joy.  I am certain that we all know what that feels like on some level.  In dealing with these obstacles, I have concluded that abiding in joy and peace is worth fighting for.  There are people in our lives that will try to rob us of our joy and I believe that it offends God to let them (Phil.4:4-8).  It is so easy to react to situations instead of fighting for what God has given us through His precious Son, Jesus Christ.

I did a study on Galatians last fall and the word "freedom" is used continuously.  The antagonist to freedom is sin.  Sin comes in many forms and someone always gets hurt.  All of our relationships will be affected by whether or not we walk in the freedom that Christ has called us into.   Galatians 5:6 says "The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love."  Our faith is meant to be expressed through love; a love that is pure and free from the hurtfulness of sin.  When we love without strings attached, there is such a freedom there.  I don't know about you but there are some people I would rather punch in the liver rather than love.  There are going to be moments of stress and possibly even anger this season.  I pray that we would fight hard for our faith to be expressed through love.

Having faith like a child is held up as the standard for faith according to Jesus.  My son follows me around the house with his unbreakable ornament because he loves me and because there is joy in what we are doing.  As a follower of Christ Jesus, our joy is complete in Him.  Our peace is complete in Him.  He has already fought for us to have that fullness.  I pray that we would all walk in such a manner as my sweet child.  We follow One who has brought joy to the world.  Don't let anyone rob that.   Galatians 5:1 tells us that, "It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm, and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery." Stand firm in the fullness of joy, peace, freedom, and love that Christ has called us into and be a blessing to those around you.

Merry Christmas! Try not to punch anyone is the liver!

*
I love practical advise.  How do I abide in joy and peace?  How do I not let others rob my joy?  I have a few ideas here.  Talk to Jesus a lot. If you need to step away for a bit in order to maintain your peace, do it.  If you can say a prayer in your heart while standing in front of someone you want to smack, do it (pray, not smack).  If you know you will be in a situation that will challenge your spirit, pray for future grace and spend some time reading 1 John, Galatians, a Psalm, or whatever you need.  Do what you need to do to abide in Christ; be proactive so that you don't find yourself merely reacting to a situation.  Own your thoughts, concerns, and behaviors and talk to Jesus about your thoughts, concerns, and behaviors.  Last semester I was asked to help write discussion questions for our study on Galatians.  I thought that I would share them here to give some immediate encouragement.  Feel free to post your answer and any other thoughts you may have.

The church in Galatia was struggling in their faith because there were some Jewish Christians who were teaching that salvation was through faith plus works.  They were stating that repenting from your sin and trusting Christ alone as your Lord and Savior was not enough.  You also had to follow all the 613 laws.  One of those laws involved "trimming"  cowboy parts (YOWZA!).  The church in Galatia began to believe these lies.  Paul writes to encourage them to stand firm in the truth, grace, and freedom that they have through faith in Christ alone.

Read through Galatians 1:1-10

1) What are your initial thoughts regarding this text?

2) What do we know about Paul from verses 1-3 and why do you think it’s significant that he opens the letter in this manner?

3) Read verses 6 &7

Where does your significance lie? Are there any areas of your life where you are placing your faith and worth in something other than Christ?

-example: serving in the Church

4) In verses 8 & 9, Paul uses the word “accursed”, or, “to be devoted to destruction” (NAS commentary), twice. Why is this significant?

5) Everyone wants to be accepted. Does anyone want to share how they have struggled with seeking favor from others over honoring God?

I'm sorry

I believed in Santa Clause till I was 11 years old.  I know.  My dad actually sat me down and told me that there was no Santa Clause.  Being the brainiac that I was, I looked up at him with tears in my eyes (seriously) and said, "I guess that means there's no Easter Bunny either?"  I was heartbroken.   I know I was too old to believe in Santa Clause but I didn't kiss a boy till I was almost 24...I'm just weird.

Having my rose colored glasses taken away from me that day was just the beginning.  The biggest difference in my life today verses 10 years ago is how I view humanity. I am certain that no one has "it" all together.  When people share struggles,  I'm usually not shocked because life is hard and walking with Jesus isn't easy.  It is His love that compels us.  Anything less won't stand against life's beatings.

Last month I shared that due to financial struggles, my husband and I had to sell our home.  A lot of folks had to do that the last few years.   The move was sad because we were losing our first home and because we built great relationships with other couples who were also starting a family.  We made some really great friends there.  The same month we found out I was pregnant and the next month we found out that the twins I was carrying didn't have a heartbeat.  That was rough.  Along with being broke, a few other painful things happened during this time that I don't feel comfortable sharing.   Those things almost cost me my faith.

I also wrote last month that I felt like God was punishing me.  I fully believed this even though it was an absolute lie.  I thought God was punishing me for not being in Church and for not serving in the Church like I once had.  That lie had great impact on me.  My husband shared similar feelings of being punished because of poor life choices in his younger years.  Our relationship with God during this time was bad.

I've heard people say that they felt the closest to God when they were experiencing pain.  I didn't feel that way.  I felt abandoned, angry, and abused.  I had the biggest fights with God during that season.  We tried going to Church but Evan and I were so beat up and hurt that it was hard to relate to other Christians.  I went through a real season of anger and I felt like a different person.  I was that miserable lady you see in line at the grocery store.  I had a constant sadness upon me.   As angry and hurt as I was, I couldn't turn away from my Lord.  I yelled at Him a lot but I didn't turn away.  There was one Scripture that I said as a prayer.  Even with a lot of bitterness, deep in my bones I couldn't escape knowing that what this Scripture proclaimed was Truth.  It was Psalms 121:
"I will lift my eyes to the mountains; from whence shall my help come?  My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.  He will not allow your foot to slip; He who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, He who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.  The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand.  The sun will not smite you by day, nor the moon by night.  The Lord will protect you from all evil; He will keep your soul.  The Lord will guard your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forever. "
I believe that God used this Scripture to keep me from going mad.  Another huge blessing during that season was how much Evan and I loved each other.  All of that pain only brought us closer together.   Even while we suffered a second miscarriage a year later, we stayed a team.

I don't know why all of that happened.  There are a few things I believe strongly now because it did happen however.   I believe that God's Word is very important because the Enemy's always at work with his lies.  I also believe that being connected with other believers is crucial.  Prayer, accountability, truth, love, and encouragement in the Lord are necessary for walking faithfully with our God.   I now see the offense and damage in my checking-out of the Church.  I have apologized to my Lord and I am now apologizing to my fellow believers in Christ.  I am sorry that I bailed on the Church dear brothers and sisters in Christ, please forgive me.   If Evan and I had been in Church, I am certain that the lies I believed would've been greatly challenged for our good and God's glory.

Most importantly, I strongly believe that my Savior, Jesus Christ, kicks ass.  The biggest ass-kicking occurred a long time ago when Christ looked death in the eye and walked out of the grave. Dang skippy.

My prayer in sharing all of this is to encourage other believers in the Lord.  We have an incredibly gracious, long suffering God.  If you have checked-out I encourage you to check back in.  If you're angry, hurt, or all together f***ed up, Christ has seen it all and you are not going to shock Him.  His grace is sufficient for those who believe.  What a wonderful God we serve.   

Sciatica, Livers, and Jesus

I went to my first Mommy and Me class the other night with my son and he absolutely loved it.  I have lower back problems so I had a hard time because the activities involved hurling him through the air.  The pain was endured however because I loved seeing his excitement.  As I played with my son, I noticed the other babies sitting or flying with absolute joy as drool flowed freely.   They were so enthralled that when one of them puked on themselves it only added to the collective excitement in the group.  We definitely couldn't take ourselves seriously while there.   We were grown women flinging our children around while dancing in circles to songs about spoons and pigs.  It could've easily been mistaken for some sort of middle class mommy/baby cult.  The only cult where half the members show up strapped to another human.  Welcome.

My son has blessed my life in so many ways.  There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that he is a gift from God.  My husband and I went down a long road to get him here too.  Not long after Evan and I married, he had to close the company he and his father started.  Like a lot of people, things got so tough financially that we had to sell our home.  Around this time we found out that I was pregnant.  We were so excited and even though we were broke we were so happy.

Since we married, Evan and I hadn't been going to Church regularly.  Our relationship with Jesus was increasingly distant.  When I got pregnant, my faith was greatly encouraged and I knew I needed to get my heart right with the Lord.  Unfortunately, as I started my second trimester, we found out that not only was there no heartbeat but there were two babies with no heartbeat.  To say that we were devastated is an understatement.  I felt like a part of my heart had died.  I also felt like God was punishing me.  This lie from the pit didn't help matters.  While we were dealing with our loss, we were moving from a large home to a much smaller house.  I can now see that home as a blessing but at the time I was very sad and very overwhelmed.  Evan was working on our new place while dealing with kidney stones as well.  I know! It's like a Greek tragedy!   But don't worry, no one had their liver eaten by a vulture (Prometheus...anyone?).  Be encouraged!  I love my Lord Jesus and I praise Him.  There is more and it does get worse before it's gets better but it's important to know two things: 1) everyones liver is safe and 2) "The Lord will guard your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forever. "   I forgot this for a season but thankfully God is on His throne and always keeps watch over His children and their livers.  

I read a book recently and the writer made such an encouraging and convicting comment.  He said that we have so many blessings that surround us that if we didn't have them we would pay millions for them.  Because these blessings are given freely however, they go unnoticed.  My prayer is to be more like those happy, drooling babies; when things get messy there is still so much joy to take in.  Even when my sciatic nerve is pinched mercilessly and my shrieks frighten the other mothers, I will be grateful for my Lord, my son, and for my Ibuprofen.  God gives so freely in His gifts and His greatest gift is by far the love and sacrifice of His Son Jesus Christ.   For the good, the bad, and the ugly, I pray my King is glorified.

Rabbit Children Scare Me

My husband and I volunteer in our son's Sunday School class every few weeks. We love volunteering in his class but one Sunday we were asked to serve in the 3 year old room.  We naively said yes and marched our servant-hearted selves down the Noah's Ark hallway.  What we didn't realize was that we would soon be in a place where drinking Jim Beam from a sippy cup would be necessary for survival .  I've cared for 3 year olds before and I know that they have a lot of energy but we walked into a class of rabbit children who appeared to be infected with rabies.  I call them "rabbit children" because they were bouncing everywhere!  It was chaos.  Evan and I looked at each other with total panic; our eyes communicated one thing, "RUN!!".  There were thousands of them (just 12).  It's all a blur but the ratio of a thousand (12) children to the 2 teachers seemed like some sort of twisted reality show.  The teachers, who had been there for hours,  looked like they just had a lobotomy.  Gone.  They were present but they were gone.  Children were running, bouncing, and laughing hysterically.  I saw one kid eating a brick!  It was all way too much.  We had just left a great sermon; our hearts were filled with God-centered teaching and worship.  I was now desirous of hard liquor.  After I pulled myself out of a stunned state, I started looking for a rabies vaccine and/or Benadryl and/or Jim Beam.   I did have some glue!  "No sniffing glue!" (There was a sign). Luckily, most of the hybrid rabbit children were taken away and we were only left with 3.

Life can be like hybrid rabbit children.  It can be unpredictable and frightening but it can also be exciting and joyful.  Life being unpredictable isn't always a bad thing.  When Evan started courting me at the end of 2004, I was going through a season of crap.  He was completely off my radar regarding marriage. Things had been really difficult in my life and I had planned since high school to be a preachers wife.  Evan was a Christian but he wasn't even going to Church regularly.  He was the complete opposite of what I had always planned on marrying.   Having said that, we dated for 5 weeks, got engaged, and married 6 months later.  

When Evan and I got married in 2005 he was running a successful company called Just Like Dad's that he and his Dad started.  It was a children's gift and apparel company that sold toddler boxers/briefs, toy shaving kits, and a line of children's recliners and rockers, all of which looked Just Like Dad's.  We were doing well and it was an exciting time.  Evan worked really hard and we were happily married.  Life was good.  Due to a couple of factors however, the company started to face some challenges.  Evan and his Dad fought hard to keep the doors open but we ultimately had to close the doors on Just Like Dad's.  All of a sudden, Evan was out of a job.  It was 2006, and unknown to us, we were heading into a recession that was going to give us a lashing.    

Evan has always been consistent in showing me love, adoration, and respect.  When he doesn't do those things an apology is right around the corner.  Even when life throws hybrid rabbit children at us, we get through it together.   Areas where I am weak, he is strong, and vise versa.   I've said it before and I'll say it again, marrying Evan was best decision I ever made.  The Lord is good. 

God showed up

Something I love to do in my marriage is end arguments with the statement: "You're right.  I'm wrong and I'm sorry."  I'm confused, I meant to say "hate" in that last sentence.    I'm very stubborn most of the time.  I find that I do well with humility at night...when I'm asleep!

Something I'm not proud to admit is that I don't pray on my knees very often.  My family and I had a big scare last week however that got me on my knees fast.  Without getting into details, unexpected events occurred that involved a judge making a decision that was very painful for my family.  For the first time in way too long, I got on my knees and made some serious supplications.   The next day the judge called a meeting.   My family was completely on edge.  We continued to pray (beg). 

In that meeting, the judge reversed her own judgement.

WTFW (WHAT THA FORREST WHITAKER!!!!!)

Apparently the judge has never done that...EVER.  The decision to reverse her own judgement changed everything for my family.  

The shock that we experienced both overjoyed and humbled us.  God is very present.  He knocked us on our tail last week with that Truth.  My faith can look more distant than personal unfortunately but the movement of God's hand in this situation has blown me away.  I'm still in shock.   

I learned a big lesson and it's regarding my will.  Time and again, I see that when I submit to the Lord, peace follows.  This is so contrary to my nature.  I want to control and over-think everything.  Submitting my heart, mind, and will to God is often way down on my list.  It's gross and it's the very opposite of what I claim to believe.  There was nothing to figure out regarding the events that occurred last week however.  All we could do was pray and we were praying about things that had already been decided.   It was terrifying, it was awful, and I hated it.  Guess who showed up?  God answered our prayers and He said yes.   

What amazes me about God is that He never gives up on His children.  There's a scene in Forrest Gump when Lt. Dan has his fist to God, cursing Him during a violent storm.   I think we've all been there.  I know I have.  I wasn't leg-less (thank ya Jesus) hanging off a boat but I was weeping and screaming in my car.   When things are super crappy, He is present and He loves us (though we may not feel that He does).   The continued lesson the Lord teaches me is that He wants me to trust His ways even when everything is crap.   That's not easy for me though.  I need to spend more time on my knees in prayer.  

I am grateful for the love and mercy God has shown me and my family.  God knows that life is hard.   He wants us to trust Him and to obey Him.  He wants us to walk in peace and we won't if we continue in stubborn shenanigans (yeah, i said it.).  Let's all struggle well in His grace and stop being such horses pa-toots (visualize Chris Farley falling on a table).  

I have read in Plato and Cicero sayings that are wise and very beautiful; but I have never read in either of them: Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden.

-St. Augustine

Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.

-Isaiah 41:10

"Blow it up!"

*I'm going to share some tough stuff so consider this a warning. *

As every parent knows, there's a great deal of ritual involved in raising children.   Each night when my husband and I put our son to bed we have our own special ritual.  After we say our prayers, give kisses, and lay our son in his crib, we close the door, give each other "knuckles", and then proceed to "blow it up".   Occassionally one of us will throw in a getto fabulous, "blow dat s*** up!", with swagger in tow.   I'm certain this ritual goes on in homes across the U.S. every night.   This is my life and I love it.

I had dinner with a new friend this week from my church.  I was a little worried to hang out with her because she's super spiritual.  I later found out that she's on staff and in charge of the women's ministry.    I've tried to share my heart with folks but it's usually too much for them.  I understand that, it's too much for me!  She received me with absolute grace, love, and humility.  I actually told her that I wasn't sure I would like her because I figured she would see me as her new "project".  I was that way with people and I think it's arrogant.  I just wanted a friend, that's all most people want.   Her humility astounded me and after visiting for a while, she shared that she was going to pray that I would let go of what I'm "white knuckling".  I have some control issues.   The Lord apparently listens to this chic because I've been challenged lately to finally deal with some crud in my heart.  

The last 6 months of 2004 were incredibly difficult and painful.  Without sharing details, I got my heart broken by someone I really cared about, lost a friend or two, was encouraged to leave a ministry that I loved, and had my name slandered by a fellow believer.   Less than three months later I was assaulted by a neighbor.*

~INTERMISSION:

I just put a lot out there.  How ya doin'?  Feel free to run and hide under the table.  I'll be here when you get back.

~

The night I went to my neighbors party, I sat in my car and in my spirit I heard, "Don't go.  Go home. Go home."  I willfully stepped outside of God's protection and warning and I got hurt.  My Lord was trying to protect me and my innocence; I fought Him and I lost.  

There's a lot there that I could be "white knuckling" but there's something the Lord is showing me that I'm holding onto with a greater amount of anger and hurt.  After the assault, I went to a friend (one of the friends who I had lost a few months back & later found out was slandering my name) and asked for help.  All I received was coldness.  The person wouldn't even look me in the eye.  This is the root of my anger towards the Church and it's this anger that I'm "white knuckling".  This individual was in leadership and someone who I actively cared about and loved.  Any other person wouldn't have given the Enemy near the milage to hurt me.  There is still shrapnel in my heart from that person's choices.  A few years back I initiated communication with this person and received an apology in an email.  I wrote the words "I forgive you" and I wanted it to be true but it wasn't.  I'm still hurt and angry.   My heart to forgive has nothing to do with this person however.  I know I need to forgive but I've had a hard time doing that.  

HOPE!!!

There's a verse in Joel 2:25 that says, "I will restore to you the the years the locust have eaten...".  This text is such a blessing to me.  The Lord "fleshed out" this verse by bringing Evan into my life at the end of 2004.  My heart was bleeding and God used Evan to show me His healing and lovingkindness.  Since then, something that my husband has repeated when my "stuff" comes out is, "Your problems are my problems. Your hurts are my hurts."  What a blessed woman I am.

I saw the Lord's kindness in His warning that dreadful September night and I saw His kindness by bringing Evan to help heal the wounds that my own defiance brought about.

Our God is very present.  When He speaks, it is to do good and not harm.  

I pray that whatever you are "white knuckling" you would submit.   I humbly ask for prayer that I might forgive one who my heart still holds anger and hurt towards these many years later.  Too much damage has been done already and I don't want to be angry anymore.   For those struggling with being unforgiving, I encourage you to ask for prayer.  

I love the ritual my husband and I do at the end of the day.  It represents a closure to the day and a time for us to enjoy each others company.   Jesus wants to bring closure to hurt and anger in our lives.   Jesus wants to "blow dat s*** up!" that you and I might deeply enjoy His company each and every day.   I read that somewhere in Galatians.  ;)

*As an addendum, I wanted to share that I filed charges against the man who assaulted me.  The authorities placed him under arrest but unfortunately his time behind bars was short.  My case was eventually dropped because of the lack of evidence.  God is the One who judges. By His grace, I have been able to pray for that man and pray that his arrest frightened him enough to never hurt another woman again.   

Pea-Pie?

When I lived in Texas I thought I lived in the South; that was before I moved to Tennessee.  I now consider myself living in the South.  I've heard expressions here that I have never heard before.  Some of these expression I have adopted as my own being the Southern Belle that I am.  I've learned that I have a very literal translation of language when I hear it which is surprising because I'm always up for a good metaphor and I'm a total smart-ass.  Since I've started trotting my son about town, I've noticed that women love to play peek-a-boo with him.  Instead of saying "peek-a-boo", however, they say "pea-pie".  They do this in a pitch that causes my left eye to twitch.  After hearing this expression over and over again, I pulled Evan aside and asked, "Is there an actual pea pie? Like, a pie filled with peas?" I was completely serious.  Evan started laughing and confessed that he didn't know what pea-pie meant either.  I was getting nervous that people were saying pee-pie...that's just wrong.  I was on a quest for truth! What are people saying and why????  I finally got my answer, and you guessed it, I found it at Red Lobster.   I was at Red Lobster having lunch when I discovered that people were saying "peep-eye".   Now that makes sense to me!  I can work with that!   It sounds weird and a little creepy but it makes sense!

I love being around different communities.  I was very blessed growing up to fly for free.  This opportunity opened the world up to me and I took advantage of it.  Funny enough, some of the best lessons I learned on diversity came from Denton, Texas.   As a Philosophy major, I had a goodly amount of diversity thrown at me often.   For the first time I was around people who didn't think like I did.  My faith was about to be challenged and I couldn't hide being the only blonde, female, Christian fundamentalist in the class.  God used so many people, books, and ideas to sharpen and challenge me.   The three most wonderful gifts that came from my philosophy classes were Rebecca, Joy, and Jamie.  All three of these ladies hold huge parts of my heart and have for almost 13 years now(can you 3 believe it's been that long???)  I love, love, love them.

Something great that started to stir in me was the desire to serve in my community.  I had been a high school youth leader at my church and loved it but I increasingly wanted to serve outside of the Church.   Over the next fews years, I was able to serve as an after-school camp counselor, teach GED courses in inner city Denton (Cement City), and serve as a "buddy" to people suffering from HIV and AIDS.   During this season, I was serving in the Church but in correlation with these communities.   I was able to meet with the elders at Denton Bible Church and share all that needed to be done in our community.  From those suffering from AIDS to those who needed their GED, I got all the support I needed.  Food drives were thrown,  Christmas presents were bought and distributed, a client's home got re-painted and given a new foundation!   The after-school program got a basketball goal courtesy of the SWEAT Team at DBC.   A close friend of mine who was involved with Wicca fell in love with Jesus!  God was moving in amazing ways and I was able to be apart of it.

I think God allows us to struggle with certain things at certain times for the sole purpose of  keeping us grounded in our need for Him.  I was about to struggle with something that I thought I was way too strong to worry about.

Most people have their first kiss in Elementary school... I was 23.  I know what you're thinking and no, I wasn't home-schooled.  Saying that I was ill-prepared is an understatement.   During this season of serving in my community, I was making new friends.  Most of these friends drank and kissed boys.  I wasn't in the habit of doing either until one night when I got drunk and kissed a boy.  That's a special regret.  I was actually closer to 24 when I had my first kiss and didn't even know the guy's last name.  I felt ashamed but I had bitten the apple and my eyes had been opened.  It was on.  I would go from complete and total guilt to a renewed sense of repentance and God's unbelievable kindness and then back to drinking and occasionally kissing.  I would confess my sin to those who I was serving with in the church but I would turn around and do it again.   Because I kept returning to those behaviors, it became harder and harder to be honest.  It's tough to be honest when you feel like a failure.  Keep in mind that people in my life that had been witches were turning to Jesus.  God was moving and I was acutely aware that it was His power at work because I was really struggling.  I have to say here that the people I served with who knew I was drinking too much and making poor decisions were unbelievably gracious.  They knew my heart loved Jesus, I was just struggling with something that most people had already dealt with.  Kissing rocked!   If I hear any complaints about Denton Bible Church, I hear that it's too legalistic.  I can see that, but I received an insane amount of grace from people at DBC during this time.   My pastor, Tom Nelson, pulled me aside at one point and all I received from him was grace and concern.

That season of my life taught me a lot about my humanity.  I never had much grace or understanding for people who "partied".  I thought that I was above it, but frankly, I was weaker than most.  It's easy to think you're strong when you live in a world of 10 pound weights.  To quote the great St. Augustine: "Complete abstinence is easier than perfect moderation."  And to quote the great Joy Harris, "Without sin we would have never known grace." For the record, I'm not suggesting that kissing is wrong or that drinking is wrong.  I'm saying that my choices to drink too much and to kiss boys (that I didn't have a relationship with) did harm to my heart, mind, and spirit.  Moreover, I was offending my Savior and King whom I love.  This may seem tame to some and outrageous to others.   My heart has been rebellious while supremely active in the Church and that offended my Saviour and King as well.  Being a recovering legalist, I encourage those who are struggling to not get mad at yourself for "doing it again" because you're focusing on yourself which breeds pride and then hardening.  Instead, go to the cross, apologize, and walk away in His grace.  As my friend Linda Lee shared recently, "I don't have to be perfect to be considered 'walking with the Lord'.  He has lessons for me to learn in each step I take towards Him."  Such wise words that I need to remember.    Don't be too shocked when you screw up.  Get over yourself and go to the cross; it's humbling, but from my experience, it is where freedom begins.

"For it is by grace you have been saved through faith and this is not of yourself but is the gift of God and not by works that no one may boast."
Ephesians 2: 8,9


A few other TX/TN differences :

TX- "That was a great dinner."

TN-"Those were some good groceries."

TX- "I had to take my sister into town today."
TN -"I had to carry my sister into town today."

TX-"How cute is that!"

TN- "That's right cute!"