I've joined a group called MOPS. It's an acronym for Mothers of Preschoolers. That's me! I have the sweetest, smartest, kindest, funniest, and most beautiful baby boy! I've never been more proud of anything as I am to be the Mother to this incredible gift. Well, I went to my second meeting this week and really enjoyed it. I can be rather critical and cynical but I'm getting better. I didn't know what to expect walking into a group of predominately Christian Mothers. I had the chance to be negative on my first visit when the leader said that next week we would be making Valentine's cards.
Pause for reaction.
What am I...FIVE? I literally LOL'ed because I thought she was kidding. I looked around and no one else was laughing. I had a better idea. How 'bout I rustle us up some mimosas and we sit around convincing each other that being controlling is a spiritual gift! No? Ok, then bring on the glitter and paste. Is that a bedazzler I see? I behaved myself though because I really like these MOPS. I thought, even though this is really stupid I will have a good attitude. It was a small victory in my heart. Turns out I really enjoyed making the cards and I had a few laughs with the ladies at my table. We didn't actually use glitter or a bedazzler (single tear).
I hate how cynical my heart has become. When I was young I had zero cynicism. I was sheltered which is what happens when you're always at church and around other Christians. I became a Christian when I was 11. When I was 14 I started going to Denton Bible Church and it was on! I put verses around my room, memorized Scripture, shared the gospel and did other Christians things as well. I also started a Bible study in my High School. I loved doing that. I didn't know what I was doing but I loved it. I would occasionally have guest speakers who were in my Pastor's, Young Guns program. We just called them Program Guys. They were typically young, hot men who came from all over to study the Bible with my Pastor, Tom Nelson. I would later form at least 12,000 crushes on the men who came through The Program.
I was in to all things Jesus. I can have an obsessive drive when I want to. Like a lot of new believers, I was VERY black and white. Has anyone noticed that life beating the crap out of you plays a huge role in understanding human nature, God, and His Word? The more often you treat God and His grace like shit, the more grateful and shocked you are when He gives it to you (that statement could sum up my testimony btw). Of course it would be much better not to treat God and His grace like shit in the first place but I'm a lulu head. As I think back I recall getting a lot of attention for being "on fire" for Jesus. We need to be careful with how we encourage one another and our youth. All the encouragement left me thinking I was a pretty big deal. I was on my way to becoming someone I wouldn't even want to talk to today. How do you think we should encourage one another so that we don't enable self-righteousness? I've got a few ideas but I really don't know. I also don't know if I'm supposed to capitalize all the Christianese I write. Thoughts?
Jesus Crispy~|ˈjēzəs| |ˈkrispē|
noun
professing Christianity while wearing an ichthus somewhere on one's person.
adjective
of, relating to, the descriptive word my friend Joy made up when we met 12 years ago: "You're so Jesus Crispy Ash!"
10 comments:
I am honored to be included. It's true - Jesus Crispy sums it up. Thank goodness that the foundation of both of our understandings provided a way for us to mean so much to eachother. I am grateful to you for your courage and truth. - Joy
I am very...very with you.
"How do you think we should encourage one another so that we don't enable self-righteousness?"
Let me take a wild swing and say that the problem could be prevented even before that point. And a an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of hickory-smoked bacon.
Scenario:
I'm in a pretty, white church with other pretty, white people who are all "on fire" and going to classes, etc. Some of them have it tough. No money for college, physical/mental/emotional challenges, family difficulties, but the culture is focusing on those pretty, white, "on fire" people. Pictures in the marketing materials are full of them. One day, I see someone who I barely know, and note that their happy smile and tendency to "praise God" makes me happy to see, so I tell them that. They like it. Hit? Miss? Hmmm...maybe not my business. Maybe just my business to freely give praise. Maybe.
Another scenario:
I'm in a church of any description that is full of people who don't hang around the building too long, because they have to go take care of something...or someone. This body of people are practicing some good-old-time-religion, and spending a lot of time with people whose lives suck. Maybe even living with those people, as an act of sacrifice. I know these people pretty well. Even the prosperous ones are desperate in some sense. They all live around sinful, broken people and don't get to enjoy a lot of soft, shininess at all. They pray desperately. They give and serve desperately. They grieve over sin and its harms desperately, and they believe and trust in God desperately. They think about themselves less often than average, and it shows in their looks, dress and belongings. They're all pretty sharp, and they are, all of them, a little tired all of the time, but they also have this undeniable inner joy. And they are SO, SO thankful for every moment of God's grace, and fully believe that all things will work together to glorify Him, and that they will witness that glory firsthand, soon. This gives them a sense of peace, and a fearlessness about getting their hands dirty, so their hands tend to be dirty. NOW,...I see one of them, whose bright face and tendency to "praise God" makes me happy to see, so I tell them that.
I'm not saying that my illustration is an end to this discussion, but it's something that I've struggled with a lot recently, too, and I think I'd feel safer freely giving a young person a compliment in the second case than in the first. In the first one, it would seem more appropriate to say, "You're not that big of a deal, kid." Thing is, they told me not to do that anymore.
I like your points Sonny. I just thought of something while reading your comments. My husband and I were talking the other day about a text in Romans perhaps? Well, the jest of it was that those who not only knew Scripture but lived it were to be praised over those who merely knew Scripture. Your second scenario, I believe is what we have been commanded to do regarding our handling of Scripture. Merely, "going to classes" as you put it, is only half of our obedience to the Lord and if left there can do more harm than good (self-righteousness). I think what we need to encourage is the full act of obedience to God regarding His Word. To "GO". Obey His Word, not merely learning of Him in classes. So very easy to write such the challenge to live out. But, I think that, that is where encouragement should be directed; for those who are walking in His truth.
Ashley, I was just as shelter as you in my Christian bubble at Liberty and Denton Bible. And I tried to stay shelter even at A&M by joining Aggie Sister's for Christ, but then I met Max who was not a Christian. Yes, I dated a non-Christian on purpose A) because he was HOT! B) because I had just been cheated on by a Christian man, a chaplin in the Corps. I felt like Christian men knew too well what to tell Christian women to make them think they were Godly leaders when really they just wanted to get in my pants and when I wouldn't they got it else where. Reading this makes me miss you so much. I remember how silly and crazy we were and how people at church could always hear us coming. We were such attention hogs. Oh, and I quit MOPS after 1 year b/c I didn't develope any deep relationships with the women. We just listened to a speaker, did a craft, then left. So I joined The Carrollton Early Childhood PTA instead and found deeper relationships with moms as screwed up as me :) Plus we drink Mommy Margarita. Love ya tons, Ash! I'm begging you to move back to Texas!
I hear ya, Ash. One time in Denton, someone told me that they saw me smiling as I was praising God.
That wrecked me. I hated knowing that someone could watch me do that. It seemed invasive. These days, if I happen to smile while praising God that silly incident comes to mind and then I'm self-conscious about stuff and the moment that caused me to smile is gone. Seems like my purest worship comes out in the car these days.
The person probably thought they were encouraging me but that was 10 years ago and it still affects me in a bad way. Stupid huh?
So, my suggestion is to not tell anyone you're watching them while they worship and maybe just smile at them and give them a hug instead.
Sidenote: I'm doing MOPS too and I really just go for the food. It's too loud in the room to have deeper conversations so I eat, nod my head, make my craft and then leave...always with the pants button undone :)
I know what ya mean about MOPS but I've actually met some really cool ladies. It is way too loud though. I didn't share this but I got really frustrated when we did an ice breaker that was like speed dating. We lined up in 2 rows and had 3 or 4 minutes to ask questions on a piece of paper. then one row moved down a seat. I couldn't even hear them. All I was thinking is, this is so inauthentic! But perhaps the leaders was just trying to find a fun way to start future conversations. Who was staring at you? Was it a boy?
It was a boy. But it could've been anyone really and it'd still be weird about it.
Speed dating at MOPS?? I sure hope the leaders at my group don't find out about that! I have met one really cool girl that I like so it's not a bad thing. Really it's just that it's too loud in the room and I'm not one to shout "I'M SO LONELY!"
You know?
I see the Christian LIFE as an incredibly hard and ambiguous life to live. We let "people" define what it should be and no certain church or group of people have a corner on God. His ways are truly above ours! As I am in my 60s now, I find myself trying to please people a lot less and focusing on what is pleasing to Jesus more ... not looking to what I "DO" at church or anywhere else as what defines me, and trying HARD not to judge others as they are on their own path. I think deep down we are all incredibly insecure and it surfaces in our lives in a myriad of wierdness and sometimes wonderfulness! I think we need community and also must challenge ourselves to develop REAL relationships with people inside the Christian-culture box and outside it as well. God looks at our hearts and if we do our best each day to do a heart-check and try to keep our heart as cleaned up as we can and not worry so much about how "perfect" our life looks to others, we're on the right path. Ashley, your transparency and willingness to put yourself out there is what everyone loves about you. I so look forward to being challenged & sharpened by your blog.
A thousand thoughts running around in my head... I will see if I can chase a few down...
First of all, I lub you Ash!!! I am very excited about you blogging!!! My personal challenge is to incorporate one Tommy-Boy quote in every post :)
Second of all, I don't think there are any easy answers how to encourage one another carefully because our hearts are such that even the most carefully worded, well-meaning encouragement can lead us to making much of ourselves instead of making much of God. Even in Christian lingo of "I can see God doing such and such in your life" we will warp it to confirm what we already believe- that we are something and deserve praise and recognition. I think it's just important to be constantly reminding ourselves & others of our heart's wandering nature, to be honest about what motivates us (our idols), and just try to lift up Jesus, and point one another toward our need of Him! I think it's hardest to do this in environments when everyone is all happy-clappy about hard things, full of easy answers and focused on outward performance. But ultimately it's not what other people say, our environments or other people's sins and failings that are the problem. The problem is inside.
But I do think there is a movement of the church waking up to the catering to (and even production of)the Elder Brother (from the Prodigal Son parable). I know in our church we focus on his sin (of pride, judgmental attitude, ingratitude, etc) as being equally odious to God as his brother's. And we are being constantly reminded that Jesus is our only hope b/c we are all one of the brothers, and once we find our security/hope/identity, then we are free to truly love others instead of using them for our own purposes or giving them empty praise to gain what we can only get from Him.
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